Nothingness
by Violent Dance
Summary: She wanted to say something, everything she had wanted to say to him, but she could never say it, could never say any of it. She would settle for what they had now, if just for the moment before she disappeared into nothingness.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto.

It was always quiet when he came; everything always stayed unspoken. Every night, the soft sounds of nighttime would fade and diminish into nothing, leaving a sinful silence that could drive every sane person alive mad if it were not to be broken.

Time always passed slowly, in her opinion. There was always not enough time—not enough time for anything and everything. Regardless, she liked the way he would silently sit next to her time after time.

"Konan," he breathed as he brushed a stray blue hair aside, tucking it with surprising gentleness behind her ear. Always the same, she thought, always the same need for a quiet, serene atmosphere and a continued and lasting silence. Pools of blood-red eyes looked at her ocean-blue ones, something lingering within them—a promise, she hoped, but it could never be a promise. Never would there be a promise.

She wanted to ignore the deceivingly soft command, but she couldn't. She could never defy his orders. There was so much she wanted to say to him. So much that she _needed_ to say: confessions, blames, and questions. They swamped her mind every single day, beating her down bit-by-bit until all that she could see was what she _should_ have been instead of what she was now. What sort of life was that? She wanted to say something, _everything_ she had wanted to say to him, but she could never say it, could never say any of it.

"Pein..."

"Hush," he muttered, silencing her with a soft, elegant finger; the _finger_ that had threatened, killed, and murdered numerous people and had tasted blood quite profoundly. A finger that was part of those seemingly soft and graceful hands, the very hands that she had always wanted to touch her body had spilled blood over and over again, never losing the need to kill, the need for slaughter, for an onslaught of pain.

"Be silent," and just like that, the need to speak vanished into thin air. She wanted to say so much, needed to say so much, but just having him here was a much bigger need. No, it wasn't a need. It was a _requirement_. She wouldn't, _couldn't_ do anything that would endanger that. It was enough. It _had_ to be enough, even if it never _was_.

"That's right," he said softly as he lowered his head down, those lips brushing feather light against her, "Just let it be... for now."

And that was how she irrevocably knew that it was a dream, _had_ to be a dream, because life had been less than kind to her, so much that the very idea of him being playful was absurd at best. But still, she held her tongue. Regardless of whether it was a dream, it was all that she had now, the only way she could keep from falling into the abyss of darkness forever.

"For a little while, at least."

It would _have_ to be enough.

He _touched_ her then, with soft caresses and gentle movements. He had never been a gentle man, but there hadn't been any time left to think about his actions, much less scrutinizing them. No time at all, not even to live. His hands stroked against her skin, knowing just where to go and how to touch her to leave a growing ache behind.

It wasn't so quiet anymore. Soft puffs of breath, almost panting now, punctuated the silence, breaking it. She couldn't seem to catch her breath as he moved closer over her, doing things to her that she had never even dared to fantasize about. _He_ would never do something like this, with _her_ of all people. And yet, he was, even if it was just a dream, _had_ to be a dream.

She bit her lip in a successful attempt to hold back a gasp, her eyes watering slightly from her injury. For all she knew, the moment was dying, she was _dying_. Dying very fast, for that matter. She couldn't risk anything. As long as the silence lasted, he would stay. He would be within reach, where she could touch him, could feel him, but only just. It wouldn't last, but it would be enough for her.

She reached up, her pale fingers touching him, running through his silk-soft hair and earning a rare smile. He was beautiful when he smiled, even more so than he had ever been before. She had wished so much just to see him happy for once, but that desire had been in the past and was now long buried, right alongside her other wishes, her other dreams, and soon with her lifeless body.

She took leave of his hair then, with no small amount of regret, and instead ran her pale, almost lifeless hands over his shoulders and down his chest.

A hand plucked her seeking fingers away just as she was about to touch him.

"Don't," he warned and shook his head.

Her eyebrows drew into a frown, but she relented. She would settle for what they had now, if just for the moment before she disappeared into nothingness. It had to be enough.

An amused chuckle echoed in her ears, a hot breath breezing across her mouth. He pressed a brief, gentle kiss upon her lips. Another kiss then, harder now, but still teasing, still more than she ever dared to dream of before and yet less than what she so desperately needed. It wasn't enough.

There was a limited amount of time left. She knew she had to make the best of this, or else she would forever bring despair and hatred upon herself for losing the only chance she had left with him, even if it were only to be in a dream. The only chance, the chance that wouldn't be enough to make everything she wanted to bloom between them.

She wrapped those lifeless limbs around his neck and pulled him closer, wanting, _needing_ to feel his familiar warmth against her body. She kissed him, softly, and just pressed her pale lips against his.

And then her mind began to swim in darkness as his lips moved against hers, encouraging her to kiss back with the little vigor she had left. She complied, more than happy to do so, and kissed back. Their lips moved in rhythm, each kiss tasting sweeter and sweeter as she drank in his intoxicating taste, needing him more than the kisses.

They broke apart silently, her breaths coming as pants. She looked at him, a small, weak smile lingering on her pastel lips.

And then it ended.

Her eyes started to turn dull, her arms sliding from their tight embrace around his neck, failing to hold on for long. Her body threatened to fall onto the floor, her hair following elegantly as her figure slowly descended, but he caught her lifeless form before it fell.

A small frown settled on his lips as he stared at her face, his hand ghosting over her pale face; her body cradled in his arms. She held a small smile on her lips, her eyes closed and her skin ashen. He allowed a smile to break through his lips as he slowly laid her figure on the floor, his gentleness exceeding that of what was expected.

He ran his hand through her azure hair, feeling its silky texture on his hands. He stood up and gave one more look at her lifeless figure before walking away wordlessly.


End file.
